A review by the British Medical Association on the government’s response to the pandemic found that it had “failed to take care of its doctors”. One solution to burn out their members, according to the militant medical union, is for counselors to evaluate patients remotely using a “computer on wheels.” Come on, come on, this seems like a very modest proposal! With an apology to Jonathan Swift, would it certainly be better for all concerned to take the next logical step and protect physicians from the poor risk of meeting patients face-to-face?
It is a melancholy object for those who pass through a hospital ward crowded with sad sacks of humanity, all urging busy professionals for a good word, the result of a test or a glass of water. I think that all parties agree that, in the current deplorable state of the health service, such sick people are a very big additional complaint; and therefore, anyone who can find a fair and inexpensive way to dispose of them would deserve so much from the public that his statue be placed in Trafalgar Square or rewarded with a bonus related to the death of a patient from one of 9,327 strategic and analytical workflows of NHS England.
The number of souls in this kingdom is usually estimated at 67 million, I think there may be about 100,000 burdens in the hospital at the moment and another 6.4 million awaiting admission. The question is how this unbearable number – absurd 1 in 9 of our citizens! – will be provided, which, as I have already said, in the current circumstances, with so many doctors on the golf course, feeling very tired or dealing with urgent matters in the Dordogne is very impossible with all the methods proposed so far. Because we can neither cure them nor take them from ambulances, so burdened, especially by people who failed, with a good degree of selfishness, to die during the Great Blockade.
I will now humbly propose a solution which, I hope, will not be subject to the slightest objection. I was assured by one of our modestly paid management consultants (£ 3,000 a day!) That NHS Kindness could now be added to the NHS Improvement and NHS Transformation offices, which could put up to 5,000 adults to sleep. month. Some people with a negative mind may be very concerned about the huge number of poor people who may be sent prematurely, with significant suffering for their loved ones. But I think the benefits of the proposal I made are obvious. This would reduce the number of patients with whom we are overburdened and who interfere with the smooth running of our management operations.
Secondly, doctors will feel “safe” with the danger of sick people thus eliminated, which will probably make them stay in the profession longer and will sometimes meet some of the unfortunate survivors on the phone within a certain period of time. should be closer than two weeks on Thursday.
Thirdly, while the cost of millions of sick people cannot be estimated at less than £ 190.3 billion a year, the nation’s savings will be increased in this way, allowing more managers to be employed on the Equality and Diversity Strategy. and other key personnel.
Fourth, patients can eventually be eliminated altogether, encouraging a great deal of public prudence that will no longer want 111 through hospital admissions. Instead, they should stay in their homes, where they can prepare medicines from dandelion leaves and spices and consult Dr. Google at a cost only for themselves.
I am not so fiercely addicted to my own opinion as to reject any offer made by other people that will be just as cheap, easy and effective. But I want those cowardly politicians who don’t like my answer (and don’t have their own reforms) to first ask the relatives of these mortals if they wouldn’t consider it a great fortune to be killed to support our NHS, and that they avoided eternal scenes of unhappiness. and waiting lists that might otherwise last an eternity or until your elderly parent can make an appointment with the GP in person, whichever comes first.
I confess with all my heart that I have no personal interest in trying to promote this mass euthanasia of NHS Kindness, with no motive other than to promote the cause of our own expensive health service and to protect doctors from the unbearable demands of their own. patients.
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