I grew up in Small Heath, Birmingham, known to most as the territory of the Peaky Blinders. I was interested in football and history at school and studied art and design at Aston University. Birmingham has 35 miles of canals, which intrigued me because my father was born on a canal boat.
My claim to boring fame came in 2018, when I was named Anorak of the Year by Dull Men’s Club. This is an international group of people – we welcome everyone, not just men – who find joy in the world. Our motto is “to celebrate the ordinary”. Other members include a drain observer and a man who collected 20,000 bottles of milk. Then the newspapers started calling me “Britain’s dumbest man.”
Before that I had other brushes with the media. I run a small printing house in Redditch and in 2003 I wanted to create a calendar for our clients. Redditch had three prisons, no movie theater, but there were plenty of roundabouts, so, laughing, my staff and I chose the Redditch roundabout.
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I was in a pub one Friday night when a friend called to say he was on the Graham Norton show. Graham flipped through the calendar of the beautiful Greek islands with his guest and pulled out Roundbouts of Redditch for comparison. I loved it.
It changed my life. Demand for the calendar has grown. We had originally printed 100 copies – we soon started selling to people all over the world. In 2004, I was approached by a publisher and wrote Roundabouts of Great Britain, which sold 20,000 copies in its first edition, and then Roundabouts from the Air Ish in 2005, so named because I took pictures of bridges and peaks. trees. AA asked me to do the same for car parks – we published another book, Parking Mad: Car Parks from Heaven (or Hell) and a calendar, Car Parks of Britain.
The Redditch calendar has created a series of the best British roundabouts. I traveled the country with my camera, following the signals of the enthusiasts. I photographed a roundabout in Kent with a duck pond and a Yorkshire pond with a working windmill. I made calendars with benches, bus itineraries, telephone boxes and other seemingly non-exciting features of British life. I made calendars of prisons and old shelters. I love scary topics full of history, although I plan to do the same in recycling centers.
Beches of Redditch was my second best-selling calendar last year, after The Wonderful World of Jack Grealish’s Calves
TV crews from China and the United States visited. I was on daily television, including the Sharon Osborne show. I drank a bottle of wine in the green room before I showed up to make up for my nerves. Still, it went smoothly.
I also established myself as President of the United Kingdom Circular Movement Assessment Society (my unofficial title is The Lord of the Rings) and founder – and sole member – of the Parking Gratitude Society. People say I’m obsessed, but it’s humiliating. I prefer “passionate”.
My four sons are quite worried about this, and my three ex-wives found me boring; not in the bedroom, but in every other part of the house. But I think women like boring men; when their husbands say they’re going to the shack to make a matchstick model at Winchester Cathedral, they shouldn’t be wondering if they’ve actually come up with something else.
As a matter of fact, I don’t think I’m stupid. My hobbies are boring. In fact, I’m full of surprises: I’m a fan of trance music and I went to clubs last weekend. In February, I spent my 70th birthday in Malaga with two friends.
I try to make 10 calendars a year. I draw inspiration from everyday life. Martin Parr, the famous British photographer, sent me a message that he admired my work. That felt wonderful.
My Beches of Redditch calendar became my second best-selling last year with 2,000 copies. The most popular calendar this year was The Wonderful World of Jack Grealish’s Calves 2022. As an Aston Villa fan, I did it as an act of revenge when it was sold to Manchester City, but many people bought it for their girlfriends.
I am a retiree and these hobbies kept me alive. I consider myself a writer – I am writing a novel about Broome kidnapped by aliens – and I enjoy the knowledge that my photography is on the walls all over the UK and beyond.
I meet with Dull Men’s Club once a year; it’s amazing how charismatic we are when we all get together. And I have the title of the dumbest man in Britain as a badge of honor.
Do you have experience to share? Email experience@theguardian.com
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