BAHMUT, Ukraine (AP) — Forests on fire and towns burned to the ground. Colleagues with amputated limbs. The bombing is so relentless that the only option is to lie in a trench, wait and pray.
Ukrainian soldiers returning from the front lines in the Donbas region of eastern Ukraine – where Russia is waging a fierce offensive – describe life during what has become a grueling war of attrition as apocalyptic.
In interviews with The Associated Press, some complained of chaotic organization, desertions and mental health problems caused by the relentless shelling. Others spoke of high morale, heroism by their colleagues and a commitment to keep fighting even as the better-equipped Russians controlled more of the battle zone.
Lieutenant Volodymyr Nazarenko, 30, second in command of the Freedom Battalion of the Ukrainian National Guard, was with the troops that withdrew from Severodonetsk on orders from military leaders. During a month-long battle, Russian tanks obliterated all potential defensive positions and turned a town with a pre-war population of 101,000 into a “scorched desert,” he said.
“They shelled us every day. I don’t want to lie about it. But it was volleys of ammunition to every building,” Nazarenko said. “The city was methodically leveled.”
At the time, Severodonetsk was one of two major cities under Ukrainian control in Luhansk province, where pro-Russian separatists declared an unrecognized republic eight years ago. By the time the withdrawal order came on June 24, the Ukrainians were surrounded on three sides and had mounted defenses from a chemical plant that also sheltered civilians.
“If anywhere there was hell on Earth, it was in Severodonetsk,” said Artem Ruban, a soldier in Nazarenko’s battalion, from relatively safe Bakhmut, 64 kilometers (40 miles) southwest of the since-captured city. “The inner strength of our boys allowed them to hold the city until the last moment.”
“These were not human conditions in which they had to fight. It’s hard to explain to you this here, how they feel now or what it was like there,” Ruban said, blinking in the sunlight. “They fought until the end there. The task was to destroy the enemy no matter what.
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Nazarenko, who has also fought in Kyiv and elsewhere in the east since Russia invaded Ukraine, considers the Ukrainian operation in Severodonetsk a “victory” despite the outcome. He said the defenders were able to limit casualties while holding off the Russian advance for much longer than expected, draining Russia’s resources.
“Their army suffered huge losses and their attack potential was wiped out,” he said.
Both the lieutenant and the soldier under his command expressed confidence that Ukraine would regain all occupied territories and defeat Russia. They insisted that morale remained high. Other soldiers, most with no combat experience before the invasion, shared more pessimistic accounts, insisting on anonymity or using only their first names to discuss their experiences.
Alexy, a member of the Ukrainian army who began fighting against Moscow-backed separatists in 2016, had just returned from the front with a severe limp. He said he was wounded on the battlefield in Zolote, a town the Russians have also since occupied.
“On TV they show beautiful pictures of the front lines, the solidarity, the army, but the reality is very different,” he said, adding that he did not think supplying more Western weapons would change the course of the war.
His battalion began to run out of ammunition within weeks, Alexius said. At one point, the relentless shelling prevented the soldiers from standing up in the trenches, he said, exhaustion showing on his wrinkled face.
A senior presidential aide said last month that 100 to 200 Ukrainian soldiers were dying each day, but the country did not provide a total number killed in action. Alexius claimed that his squad lost 150 men in the first three days of fighting, many from loss of blood.
Because of the relentless bombing, wounded soldiers were evacuated only at night and sometimes had to wait up to two days, he said.
“Commanders don’t care if you’re psychologically broken. If you have a working heart, if you have arms and legs, you have to come back,” he added.
Maria, a 41-year-old platoon commander who joined the Ukrainian army in 2018 after working as a lawyer and giving birth to a daughter, explained that the level of danger and discomfort can vary greatly depending on the unit’s location and access to supply lines.
The front lines that have existed since the conflict with pro-Russian separatists began in 2014 are more static and predictable, while the places that became battlefields after Russia sent its troops to invade are “a different world.” , she said.
Maria, who declined to give her last name for security reasons, said her husband was currently fighting in such a “hotspot”. Everyone misses and worries about their loved ones, and even though it causes suffering, her subordinates keep spirits high, she said.
“We are descendants of Cossacks, we are free and brave. It’s in our blood,” she said. “We’re going to fight to the end.”
Two other soldiers interviewed by the AP – former office workers in Kyiv with no previous combat experience – said they were sent to the front line in the east immediately after completing their initial training. They said they saw “terrible organization” and “illogical decision-making” and many men in their battalion refused to fight.
One of the soldiers said he smokes marijuana every day. “Otherwise I would have lost my mind, I would have deserted. It’s the only way I can cope,” he said.
A 28-year-old former teacher in Slavyansk, who “never imagined” he would fight for his country, describes Ukraine’s battlefields as a completely different life, with a different value system and emotional highs as well as lows.
“There is joy and there is sorrow. Everything is intertwined,” he said.
Friendship with his colleagues gives him the bright spots. But he also saw fellow soldiers succumbing to extreme fatigue, both physical and mental, and showing symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder.
“It’s hard to live under constant stress, no sleep and malnutrition. To see all these horrors with your own eyes—the dead, the severed limbs. Hardly anyone’s psyche can withstand that,” he said.
Yet he also insisted that the motivation to defend the country remains.
“We are ready to endure and fight with gritted teeth. As hard and difficult as it is,” said the teacher, speaking from a fishing shop converted into a military distribution center. “Who will protect my home and my family if not me?”
The center in the city of Slavyansk supplies local military units with equipment and supplies and gives soldiers a place to go during brief respites from the physical exertion and horrors of battle.
Tatyana Himion, a 43-year-old dance choreographer, created the center when the war began. All kinds of soldiers come through, she says, from trained special forces and war-hardened veterans to civilians-turned-combatants who have only recently enlisted.
“It could be like this: He’s coming for the first time, he smiles widely, he may even be shy. The next time he comes, and there’s an emptiness in his eyes,” Chimion said. “He’s been through something and he’s different.”
Behind her, a group of young Ukrainian soldiers on rotation from the front lines sit, sharing jokes and pizza. The boom of the artillery can be heard several miles away.
“Most hope for better. Yes, sometimes they come a little sad, but we hope to lift their spirits here as well,” Himion said. “We hug, smile at each other and then they go back to the field.”
On Sunday, Russian forces occupied the last Ukrainian stronghold in Luhansk province and stepped up missile strikes on Donetsk, Donbas province, where the center is located.
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Valery Rezik contributed to this story.
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