Dog behavior is not a static, constant, unchanging state, just like human behavior is not. You might think you’ve got it down (sit…stay…roll over) and then something—men in hats, noisy children, umbrellas, delivery drivers – suddenly, seemingly for no reason, becomes a mortal enemy. It might even be other dogs. Since childhood, my border terrier, Barney, has had a basset hound best friend, Gomez. Then one day he decided he hated all basset hounds. On dog walks, I was constantly scanning the park for the slightest twitch of a basset hound’s ear so I could hook him on his leash before he flew off into a mad rage.
As with all relationships, our relationship with dogs is in constant readjustment, or should be. This is why we should never acquire dogs on a whim, no matter how attractive it may be. Sharing your life with a dog is a commitment to ever-changing training, daily empathy and compassion, and no small amount of mind reading. This is one of the reasons so many dogs bought in isolation are now having problems: too little socialization with other dogs and people and too much time devoted exclusively to their owners is a recipe for behavioral problems.
And when it goes wrong, it can lead to years of pain and shame. My friend Zoe has a six-year-old Staffordshire Bull Terrier, Romeo, who hates other dogs. “I blame myself for some of his problems,” she says. “I’ve raised a lot of dogs, mostly poodles or crossbreeds, but I’ve never had a puppy in a house with small children, and that’s a big difference. You rarely have a sense of order or calm or an established hierarchy with three kids around.
“He is a wonderful man. Indeed, if you go out with him, dog lovers cross the road to see him – one person missed his bus stop once because they had such love. He universally loves humanity – but hates other dogs.
“I haven’t been able to socialize him at all. His reactions are completely random: he can walk past four hounds, then be changed by a whippet. I am always alert, scanning the horizon for another dog. It’s like walking with a psychopath.”
However, she persisted. Because you do, right? You adapt, you try new things, and you keep loving them because they love us unconditionally even on our worst days. Owning a dog can be pure joy or sometimes a lesson in endurance, but in every moment of our relationship with our dogs, they teach us more about acceptance, fortitude, humility and what it is to be a truly empathetic human being.
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